"On the way to gather withered leaves and wilted dreams"

Designing the bluprint of tender houses of leaves and dream were quite easy but very difficult to gather the withered leaves and wilted dreams. I was afraid when i hear the sound of a twig falling to the ground.There is noone to hold my hand but the vein of the grey leaves hold me tightly. Let me keep the tender leaves in a secret book.


After few years, holding the same leaf which i kept inside a book, found that the leaves shed their tenderness.Now it is more hard and clear and transparent, now playing a role of bookmark into an unknown,unsaid and incomplete autobiography. Let me take the bookmark in a right place.

Today i hold the bookmark and keep it into the middle of a scrapbook(A book holding the memories of all the glorious moment). When i handover that scrapbook to a near one who took me away from so many things from a cagebird to a flying bird, there i realize time has changed and it has change so many things and this time change is not meant for better things . Here so may qualms and qualms.....!!!!!!!!

Change customized so many things. meanwhile again i am able to hear the sound of the leaves touching to the ground. The bookmark fall from the scrap book. When i went to pick it up to preserve along with the box full of empty shells, i saw a creature crushing the leaves with his own comfort hush puppies. But then also i hold it and this time i crushed it with my own little finger. The dust of the leaves lying on the ground said......

"Its very painful when the creature named time come and crushed our dream with their tender toe"............

On the way to gather the withered leaves and wilted dreams !!!!!!!

iti......

"Oh Time, when will you fly?"

Oh Time !!!!!!

Seconds went by, left a bundle of memories on my grey head. The previous reality which i lived earlier is just a hazy memory now. Time has changed, change is greedy. It makes my eyes wet when lips want to twist for a sagacious smile.

I moved on........

while moving, i like the way you take away my smile, my tears and.....my emotions. Thanks for introducing rudeness into my life. The rudeness semms mine. Its good to be alone and aloof. Alone interms of connecting with others and aloof interms of desiring the previous loneliness.

As time walk for a while,i desire not to hold the past or the future. The bear hug from the present looney life is quite rejuvenating. The earlier small teddy hanging between the bunches of dried flower is smiling inside the black trunk. Time come and go away but the materialistic world had no option to move on unless it is thrown away by someone or broken by someone.

i wish i had an option to erase the past memories.....but is it worth to do it ?????God knows ......!!!! its quite easy to live a moment but difficult to live with the burden of memories. It forced me to bend my knees and to weep for a while, but i revert it back by exactly doing the opposite of it. I opened my eyes and stand infront of my windows and there i find a new sunshine, which grows only for me.....

Grow my sweet sunshine.....!!!!!!!

Oh time....
I dont want you to go like this, so calmly, so silently. Where are those noises which you created last year? Is it gone with the wind ? Oh yes...then why i feel the warmth of fragrance today? Is it because time has their own past or is it because time move on for a better future.

I wish i hold you with my own little hand. What a wonderful thing it would be if you would feel the warmth of my own hands. Is it known to you? Oh yeah, do you still remember when i hold the three hands of your clock?

The known feeling, the calmly silence, the soft gentle breexe, the grey hue of dusky sunset, the unknown consequences, the gloomy mind, the printed notebook, the twisting fountainpen, the scattered books, the colorless canvas,the colorful painting,the blue polythene,the wooden furniture,the street light.......Oh what a wonderful world i am surrounded with ?

Oh time !!!!!

Just go away and fly.......

iti......

"Silence and Lotusbud"

My lazy pond bloom a lotusbud today, when i woke up with a lazy momentum to spend the cozy day. As usual there is no difference. Little things people do is no more exciting for my brain. Meanwhile good ideas popping up into my head. Its time to create a differences with my own little idea.

The wilderness is quite known nowadays, every corner has a structure. The known structure introduced me a new world. The new world got a new rhythm. Every rhythm has a tone. Let me engrossed into my own world.

Symbolizing my own dreams, i pictured a square shaped painting with borders of colorful triangles, entrapped into a bigger black circle. I wish i would paint a lady with an apple inside the square shaped painting but my semi-realistic attitude changed my mind and i ended up with figures of dream and greed. my artistic depth inside this wilderness interpreted so violently, but an eerie silence holds my happy brain and i lost into my own intoxicating fragrance of creativity,understood by none. Let me designed a book on the murals.

Any body remove the destructive loop which wrapped me inside this wilderness.

Let me create a mural of an offering pond with lots of green lotus which describe the beauty of silence and nature and interpretation of ideas without any biases in my own creative world.

iti..........

"Come and Dance"

The sun is brighter each day. It brings joy into my joyless life. Oh sun,What good shall i do to made you smile? shall i close my eyes to pray for you or shall i gaze you to start a realationship with you. I know now whether our relationship is just for a second or for lifetime. But i love to start with !!!!!!

Indeed, the joy of talking and sharing is quite joyful. come and feel the warmth of my hug. I know not whether you feel it but i heard it when you share our relationship with the ripples of ocean. I heard not what ripples said in return but the tune of your rays share it with my black shadow. Oh , it was, awesome to hear when you said "Thankyou for being the ray of hope". Its good to be someone rays into my lifeless life.

My mind is full of bundle of memories. Will you come to share the bundle ? I know not whether you feel the sheer expression of my gratitude, but a confident hope is there you will fulfill my expectation. The shape of my own shadow seems squeezy, what will i do to made u dancing ? Unexpected ray comes in between and i started dancing along with my shadow. Its not because of the same cozy day. Today my sun shine exactly where i want. I want it in my heart.

iti....

"Hooligan 's Mind"

Things beyond the limitation is quite impressive while limitation had their own very peculiar characteristic. Every topic/subject had a strong strange limitations. Knowing about it and reaching that particulare break-even point requires an uncontrollable creative head. Demanding for that fussy creative head in an wilderness is quite a hallucination.

Every damn stupid creatures carry an ogre mind. Concoction of my scatter brained with their empty headed is an outlandish task but the superb change is stand-still. There is a tremendous desire to pull the change but my hand is shaking before doing it.

Is change a Hooligan ?

Oh ! i need to close my eyes to fantasize about the hooligan, so that i will get my answer. My catastropic mind said, push the hooligan into a deeper hole and buried them. But how could i be so rude and move ahead by doing such a devastating act. Meanwhile my gut reaction said an old tale about the "inkling change".

Every change give us a clue.Is it ok to believe this anecdote?
Oh i need to open my eyes to understand the clue of the change. At first the nature of clue is invisible to my eyes but now my beloved intuition surprised me by revealing the secret behind every intentional chage. "whatever change happens, it happens for the good". Though it is terrified to believe this sometimes being a finicky, life never give us an option to choose, only option to hold the hand of a violent hooligan. God knows where the hooligan will take me. May be to an unknown and unnamed island, may be to a known place or may be to a place where i can understand the enigma of an orchard full of tamarind trees, where each trees had their own tale to tell about the hooligan's mind !!!!!!!

iti.......

What a twit fate !!!!!!!

The dusty smoke of a burning cigarette pollute my mind, but for someone it is an option to opt to reduce the cumbersome pain of a bulky mind. A teeny meeny question arises on my colossal mind. What a brute can do to reduce his gigantic tension ? He never had an option to lit a cigarette.

What makes them so independent?

There are enormous number of things to burn rather than a bitter tobacco leaves. How about burning our own dreams and desires ? The day ,when i quit the addicted cigarette, the smoke of my life served me a glass full of ice cube blend with tasteless beer and now once again the cold-beer pollute my mind. Before i took a first sip, somebody clutch my hand and throw the glass full of beer into the gutterbin.

Oh ! what a twit fate!!!!!!!

Iti.....

"Fragrant Jasmine"

Bring me the sunset in a cup, i will blend the rays of sunshine into it. Let me add few drops of tears into it but the uninvited guest want me to add a spoonful of sugar. when i went to bring it from the pitcher of bitterness, a bundle of nerves hold me back and asked me to weave a story about the perfect world but the loose satin ribbon lying on the floor of burden attract my attention and i tied the knot in a foolish way.Meanwhile, my near and dear one want me to make buttons out of my own bones for the curtains hanging from the wall of a broken window.

A fluorish of hand hold my hand and pushed me into a black room look like a cave. There i learned to make fine and beautiful things. Even i have been a puppet for a while and i realised the trick is to take breathing. With enough loathe in my heart, i designed a knife similar to the fork holded by the uninvited guest to finished the lifeline of the time. but with enough daring successfully i killed the boredom of time.

Time went by, even I went to offer him the plate full of sweetness, the ray of sun shine smiled and said cross the steps of restraint. when i move forward, old memories of childhood pulled my back and pushed me into a big black hole. oh , its the same well again. There it seems as if there the world is black and i am the only creature carrying a silly scatter brain. But the fate pulled me back into the same wilderness outside with the help of the bucket of destiny. Now the wilderness seems known to me. with enough momentum, again i tried to move an inch to offer the plate full of sweetness to the uninvited guest. suddenly i heard the strange noise of a broken plate. Sweetness scattered !!!!!!!!

I tried to pick up the cubes of sugar from the dusty floor, but the strange laugh from the uninvited guest broke the silence. He might noticed the files of impatience on my eyes. with of course of strong belief, i hold him tightly, i felt he is as graceful as swan. At the stroke of midnight when i opened my eyes, i fould myself near the seashore, alone and aloof i was standing there. its raining heavily, the sea monster offer me a plate full of fear. I tried to walk a mile far from the shore, but faithful blue sky helped me to discover a perfect world. A man of dignity hold my hand and when i opened my eyes , The same uninvited guest staring at me and introduced me a sweet fragrant named jasmine !!!!!!

Though i realize the taste of sacrifice is bittersweet. let me offer him a cup of beautiful dusky sunset into it and blend it with the rays of crescent moonlight into it.

Huh !!!!!!!! Above words is nothing but the reflection of unburdening my own mind.

iti.........

white: "The color of my Hunger"

There is the time when you will think you might not, there is the time when you know you might but the things you will learn from the yellow and brown, they will help you a lot with the white.

By Rudyard kipling.

"The Last Lecture" By Randy Pausch

I have no patience to write a long write-up from first to last about the
author "Randy Pausch" who is also a professor suffered from Cancer which
inspired him to delivered a long lecture n Carnegie Melon University. This book is all about the importance of overcoming obstacles,of enabling the dream of others, of seizing every moment.

Good to read.

To know more about the book "visit the website www.thelastlecture.com".

I love the tune........"Awaara Hoon"

Awaara Hoon ,Ya Gardish Mein Hoon
Aasman Ka Tara Hoon
Awaara Hoon...

Ghar Baar Nahin Sansar Nahin
Mujhse Kisi Ko Pyaar Nahin
Us Paar Kisise Milne Ka Iqraar Nahin
Mujhse Kisi Ko Pyaar Nahin
Anjaan Nagar Sunsan Dagar Ka Pyara Hoon
Awaara Hoon...

Abaad Nahin Barbaad Sahi
Gata Hoon Khushi Ke Geet Magar
Zakhmon Se Bhara Seena Hai Mera
Hansti Hai Magar Yeh Mast Nazar
Duniya Maein Tere Teer Ka
Ya Taqdeer Ka Maara Hoon
Awaara Hoon...

Lincoln-"The Unknown" By Dale Carnegie

Within five minutes its very difficult to pick up one book from the thousand but sometimes a suggestion from an old experienced book seller will help to pick up the best.Yes,Purchased this book from a small old dusty shop near JAMMU station on 19th december 2010.

knowing about the Americal history ,and about the Civil war, and about the life history of Lincoln and about his wife Mary todd Lincoln.and believe me, its a worth reading it........and the most unforgettable thing to read on this book is about Lincoln's sweetheart.

iti.....

Blooming white "Jasmine"

Rohan Rathore Emptiness..........

A love of mine
With a song and wine
You're harsh and divine
Like truths and a lie

But the tale ends not here
I've nothing to fear
For my love is a hell of giving and hollow

And the bright emptiness
In a room full of it
Is a cruel mistress
Woah...
I feel this unrest
That nest of hollowness
For I have nowhere to go and I'm cold

Here I feel so lonely....
There's a better place than this....emptiness
And i'm so lonely
There's a better place than this....emptiness

Tune, mere jaana, kabhi nahin jana
Ishq mera, dard mera....hai
Tune, mere jaana, kabhi nahin jana
Ishq mera, dard mera

Aashiq tera...
Bheed mein khoya rehta hai
Jaane jahan...
Tu jo to itna kehta hai...

That I feel so lonely....
There's a better place than this....emptiness
And I'm so lonely
There's a better place than this....emptiness